INTEGRITY – Test Press and Make Believe Pretend Time

Some LARPer from Boss-town is selling an Integrity for those who still fear tomorrow test press which is a pretty tough disk. He is also selling an “expertly painted Warhammer Goblin Army” which is the opposite of tough.

According to the seller, his army includes HUGE units of Nioght goblins [sic], Amazing Squigg Hoppers, 30 Goblin Bowmen, 3 Trolls, 20 Spider Riders and 1 Unpainted Doom Diver.[para] An unpainted Doom Diver? Fuck you buddy. What a total rip off! Also, this army is laughable at best. Especially if it marched against the legions I command in my brain.

My army as it stands today (3/15/2010):

2 Predator’s riding Graboids
1 Queen Alien
7 Regular Aliens
8 of those three-headed monsters from Willow
1 Calibos from Clash of the Titans with a Medusa head shield
89 Ray Harryhausen Skeletons from Jason and the Argonauts
3 Velociraptors wearing Laser Tag helmets (Jurassic Park 3 velocirapotrs though, the ones that can communicate, not those worthless ones from JP1)
1 Rancor
And 1 Evil Ash to command a swift yet hilarious victory

If you think your pewter Warhammer army could theoretically defeat my army you’re a dreamer my friend. Oh yeah, you play with goblin toys. I guess you already are. Nerd.

I started to work on what my army would look like but my girlfriend came in and saw what I was doing and called me a pussy. Count your blessings I was shamed into not finishing because your face would have melted at the awesome site of L’armée Qui Boit Le Sang De Tigre. Yeah, that’s our name: It’s French for The Army That Drinks Tiger Blood. They speak French. So what? They’d win for sure.